Pornstache.com » moustache

R.E.M Stands For Really Enormous Moustache

admin — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:22:21 +0000

Oh, moustache is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will grow to
This moustache in your eyes
Oh no, I’ve shaved too much
I trimmed it up…

Jude Law Pornstache

admin — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:06:58 +0000

Jude Law is sporting a stache presuably for his newest movie role in “Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Silky Pornstache”

Burt Renyolds, God of Pornstache

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 15:56:12 +0000

We’d like to give a nod to some of the innovators of pornstache, those daring souls that blazed a hairy trail for the common man. Nobody deserves more credit than Burt Renyolds, god of stache. Through backwoods adventures, redneck antics, speed demonry and the Whorehouses of Texas…the moustache persevered, never a gourgeous shiney hair out of place. A true example of the power of stache.

Orlando Bloom: Can Elves Grow Porstaches?

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 03:13:39 +0000

“Fuck your toe hair Frodo, check this out!”

Certified Pornstache: More is Better

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 01:44:48 +0000

As gaggle is to goose, pride is to lion and hairgasm is to pornstache. These fellows call themselves “software developers” however we suspect it is just a cover to days spent on yachts in St. Tropez and nights spent in the discotheques of Prague. As evidenced here, the centuries old adage, “Pornstaches of a kind stick together”.

Brad Pitt Sexy Pornstachio

admin — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 23:31:51 +0000

When you have 6 children, it is imperative to their development that they enjoy a family pet, but with an international jet-setting lifestyle, the transport and care of a pet can be difficult. Solution? Grow a pet that you can carry everywhere as it handily perches on your upper lip. Add a pair of aviators a fedora and voila! Perfection.

Certified Pornstache: Brian Cromer

admin — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 22:12:06 +0000

Another certified pornstache from a mister Brian Cromer. This stache was appearantly sprouted in China which adds to its international appeal. Additionally, the creepy closed-mouth smile and wide-angle lens effect add to the impact of this stache. Mr. Cromer, we salute you!

Vince Vaughn Pornstache

admin — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 21:04:03 +0000

Dissatified with the creepiness of his alcoholic bloat, under-eye bags and quickly receeding hairline, Vince Vaughn has added a pornstache to really bring home his look.

McCauly Culkin Mugshot Pornstache

admin — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 20:56:08 +0000

The youth are always ahead of the fashion curve, hence McCauly Culkin sporting a way-ahead of the curve pornstache for his arrest in 2003 on drug charges. I say if you can maintain such precise pencil pornstache grooming while all fucked up on pot and Xanax then more power to you!

Certified Pornstache: Bedroom Eyes

admin — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 20:47:37 +0000

Many have attempted the pornstache and many have failed. Celebs almost always get it right, but they have teams of pornstache stylists helping them. Sometimes it is hard for the everyday guy to tell when one has crossed the oh-so-subtle line into a true pornstachio. That is why we are introducing our pornstache certification.

Do not trust the authenticity of any pornstache without this seal.

To celebrate, we would like to issue our first award to This Guy

The beautiful woman, the tousled bed-head, the heavenly light, the exposed chest hair and most of all the handlebar pornstache. Yes, this is the real deal. Congratulations.