Pornstache Gift Ideas Part 3

by admin on November 29, 2008

Everybody loves cuddling a stache, and even better is a moustache with a stache and even better than that is a plushie and stache in one. Totally mind-blowingly awsome, I present…”Son of Mustachio“…behold the stachey, plushie perfection.

plushie moustache

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Burt Renyolds, God of Pornstache

by admin on November 29, 2008

We’d like to give a nod to some of the innovators of pornstache, those daring souls that blazed a hairy trail for the common man. Nobody deserves more credit than Burt Renyolds, god of stache.  Through backwoods adventures, redneck anticsspeed demonry and the Whorehouses of Texas…the moustache persevered, never a gourgeous shiney hair out of place. A true example of the power of stache.

burt renyolds pornstache god

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Pornstache Gift Ideas Part 2

by admin on November 29, 2008

For the very important pornstachio in your life, make sure grooming is always close at hand with a sterling silver moustache comb necklace

moustache comb necklace

From Brandish

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George Clooney Pornstache

by admin on November 29, 2008

The fatigues, the hilter hair, the pornstache…there is a clear course of action here, “Don’t ask, don’t tell”

george clooney pornstache

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Orlando Bloom: Can Elves Grow Porstaches?

by admin on November 28, 2008

“Fuck your toe hair Frodo, check this out!”

Orlando bloom pornstache

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Certified Pornstache: More is Better

by admin on November 28, 2008

As gaggle is to goose, pride is to lion and hairgasm is to pornstache. These fellows call themselves “software developers” however we suspect it is just a cover to days spent on yachts in St. Tropez and nights spent in the discotheques of Prague. As evidenced here, the centuries old adage, “Pornstaches of a kind stick together”. 
hairgasm of pornstache 

 

 

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Jon Heder aka Napoleon Pornstache

by admin on November 28, 2008

When you ride a white-perm and Saturday Night Fever dance moves to international fame, what do you do next? Duh, Pornstache!

jon heder pornstache

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Pornstache Classifications: The Pencil

by admin on November 28, 2008

The next in our series of pornstache species, “The Pencil also sometimes referred to as the “Horizontal Landing Strip”

 

the pencil pornstache

Structure:  The tiniest line of perfection, right across the top of the upper lip. 

Origin: A smokey cafe, Paris, 1821.

Practical Purpose: The intense amount of grooming required to maintain such a tiny little stache conveys the deep amount of dedication that you are willing to put into looking creepy and pretentious.

Best Accessories: Pencil leg jeans, cigarette holder, knit cap. 

Often Spotted: On John Waters, upcoming R&B stars and little boys with mom’s that think it’s cute to degrade their children with an eyeliner pencil. 

 

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Brad Pitt Sexy Pornstachio

by admin on November 28, 2008

When you have 6 children, it is imperative to their development that they enjoy a family pet, but with an international jet-setting lifestyle, the transport and care of a pet can be difficult. Solution? Grow a pet that you can carry everywhere as it handily perches on your upper lip. Add a pair of aviators a fedora and voila! Perfection.

brad bitt pornstache

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Certified Pornstache: Brian Cromer

by admin on November 28, 2008

Another certified pornstache from a mister Brian Cromer. This stache was appearantly sprouted in China which adds to its international appeal. Additionally, the creepy closed-mouth smile and wide-angle lens effect add to the impact of this stache. Mr. Cromer, we salute you!

certified pornstache

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