Here at pornstache.com, people are constantly asking us, “What makes a moustache a pornstache?” This question has puzzled philosophers for decades as the simple addition of just a couple hairs here, or aviator sunglasses there can turn a perfectly acceptable tax-accountant-stache into a glorious pornstache.
So, this is our first post in a series to help classify all the species of pornstache. And hence, we will begin at the beginning with the “The Ron Jeremy”.
Structure: Seeming to grow out of the nostrils and extending horizontally just over the top of the lips, this pornstache also has a wide horizontal breadth that extends across the frown lines. Also note the breezy center where the cleft of the upper lip is left exposed.
Origin: Adult film and pornstache god Ron Jeremy
Practical Purpose: Distracting female adult film stars from your pot belly with your clit tickling powers.
Best Accesories: Wrinkly Hawaiian Shirt, double (and triple!) chins, curly mullet.
Often Spotted: On professional Baseball players.
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