The next in our series of pornstache species, the Nintendo-tastic, “The Mario”
Structure: One of the most robust staches of all, The Mario extends from the middle on the cheekbones down to cover most of the mouth.
Origin: Donkey Kong, 1981, arcades arcoss Japan and America.
Practical Purpose: Has a magnetic pull towards floating gold coins, assists in bagging Peach.
Best Accessories: Overalls, plumbers crack, trippy mushrooms, 8 bit music.
Often Spotted: On real guys named Mario, no really, that’s his real name; In the crafts of dorky chicks who think it is ironic to knit likenesses of Nintendo characters.


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