Dissatified with the creepiness of his alcoholic bloat, under-eye bags and quickly receeding hairline, Vince Vaughn has added a pornstache to really bring home his look.
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From the category archives:
Pornstache
It has been noted that late-stage NHL players often grow a pornstache because of the shiny bristly distraction that a pornstache can add to a face, thus detracting from the appearance of generally mangled facial bone-structure and missing teeth.
However, George Parros, acclaimed player for the Anaheim Ducks is sporting an early career pornstache begging the question, does a pornstache carry magical or ayrodynamic properties which actually increase hockey skills? Yes, my friend. The answer is yes.
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Confucius once said, ” A man must choose between a moustache and false eyelashes”. However, Bulgarian pop singer, tranny pornstache trailblazer and Jolen poster child Azis proves the great thinker wrong.
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Answer: Progenitor of the mainstream pornstache.
Question: Who is Alex Trebek?
Yes, father of the pornstache, you brought the bristle from the back-alley world of 70’s adult films into America’s living rooms with your charming over-wrought foreign pronunciations and your oh so sly “answers” to life’s questions. With your dedication, you continued to rock the stache through the 90’s when the rest of the world was sporting the satan-goatee. We salute you Trebek, we salute you.
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Since my arsenal of billion dollar genetic freaks and destructive gadgets cannot defeat Spider Man perhaps this pornstache can. Plus, MJ will love the allure of my new “clit tickler”.
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Many people fail to realize that in his middle age Obi Wan Kenobi grew tired of fighting the empire and took a few years off to grow a pornstache and try his hand at adult films. During this period he was known as Obi “Wand” Kenobi. Luckily for the universe, he wasn’t very successful and soon got back at the whole Jedi thing…
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