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MSN Declares the Pornstache a Regrettable Trend

admin — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 18:33:35 +0000

MSN has declared the “hearthtrob-with-pornstache” one of the 10 most regrettable trends of 2008 naming Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt and Robert Downey Jr. among the top offenders. We beg to differ and find that like a hairy condiment, a pornstache only accents an already delicious hunk of man meat.

Adam Pornstache Morrison

admin — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 17:54:40 +0000

Adam Morrison proves that white men can jump and also that they can have really corny 70’s hair complete with a patchy pornstache.

Jude Law Pornstache

admin — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:06:58 +0000

Jude Law is sporting a stache presuably for his newest movie role in “Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Silky Pornstache”

Pornstache Classifications: The Handlebar

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 18:22:47 +0000

A good stache is hard to find and when you do you better grab on tight and hold on to that sucker for the whole ride, hence “The Handlebar”

Structure: Your mouth is beautiful and The Handlebar underscores that beauty like a three sided picture frame of hair.

Origin: Colonial Mustard, London 1623.

Practical Purpose: Gives universal license to invite people to, “Jump on for a moustache ride!”; stores leftovers from previous meals for intra-day snacking.

Best Accessories: Leather chaps, cowboy hats, pantaloons (often all at once).

Often Spotted: In San Francisco gay bars, revolutionary war reenactments across the Eastern US and Hells Angels gatherings.

Pornstache Gift Ideas Part 3

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 17:52:24 +0000

Everybody loves cuddling a stache, and even better is a moustache with a stache and even better than that is a plushie and stache in one. Totally mind-blowingly awsome, I present…”Son of Mustachio“…behold the stachey, plushie perfection.

Burt Renyolds, God of Pornstache

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 15:56:12 +0000

We’d like to give a nod to some of the innovators of pornstache, those daring souls that blazed a hairy trail for the common man. Nobody deserves more credit than Burt Renyolds, god of stache. Through backwoods adventures, redneck antics, speed demonry and the Whorehouses of Texas…the moustache persevered, never a gourgeous shiney hair out of place. A true example of the power of stache.

George Clooney Pornstache

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 14:48:04 +0000

The fatigues, the hilter hair, the pornstache…there is a clear course of action here, “Don’t ask, don’t tell”

Orlando Bloom: Can Elves Grow Porstaches?

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 03:13:39 +0000

“Fuck your toe hair Frodo, check this out!”

Certified Pornstache: More is Better

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 01:44:48 +0000

As gaggle is to goose, pride is to lion and hairgasm is to pornstache. These fellows call themselves “software developers” however we suspect it is just a cover to days spent on yachts in St. Tropez and nights spent in the discotheques of Prague. As evidenced here, the centuries old adage, “Pornstaches of a kind stick together”.

Jon Heder aka Napoleon Pornstache

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 01:10:23 +0000

When you ride a white-perm and Saturday Night Fever dance moves to international fame, what do you do next? Duh, Pornstache!