From the category archives:

Pornstache

MSN Declares the Pornstache a Regrettable Trend

by admin on December 20, 2008

MSN has declared the “hearthtrob-with-pornstache” one of the 10 most regrettable trends of 2008 naming Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt and Robert Downey Jr. among the top offenders. We beg to differ and find that like a hairy condiment, a pornstache only accents an already delicious hunk of man meat.

pitt downey bloom pornstache

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Adam Pornstache Morrison

by admin on December 20, 2008

Adam Morrison proves that white men can jump and also that they can have really corny 70’s hair complete with a patchy pornstache.

adam pornstache morrison

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Jude Law Pornstache

by admin on November 30, 2008

Jude Law is sporting a stache presuably for his newest movie role in “Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Silky Pornstache” 

jude law moustache

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Pornstache Classifications: The Handlebar

by admin on November 29, 2008

A good stache is hard to find and when you do you better grab on tight and hold on to that sucker for the whole ride, hence “The Handlebar” 

handle bar moustache

Structure:  Your mouth is beautiful and The Handlebar underscores that beauty like a three sided picture frame of hair.

Origin: Colonial Mustard, London 1623.

Practical Purpose: Gives universal license to invite people to, “Jump on for a moustache ride!”; stores leftovers from previous meals for intra-day snacking. 

Best Accessories: Leather chaps, cowboy hats, pantaloons (often all at once).

Often Spotted: In San Francisco gay bars, revolutionary war reenactments across the Eastern US and Hells Angels gatherings.

 

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Pornstache Gift Ideas Part 3

by admin on November 29, 2008

Everybody loves cuddling a stache, and even better is a moustache with a stache and even better than that is a plushie and stache in one. Totally mind-blowingly awsome, I present…”Son of Mustachio“…behold the stachey, plushie perfection.

plushie moustache

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Burt Renyolds, God of Pornstache

by admin on November 29, 2008

We’d like to give a nod to some of the innovators of pornstache, those daring souls that blazed a hairy trail for the common man. Nobody deserves more credit than Burt Renyolds, god of stache.  Through backwoods adventures, redneck anticsspeed demonry and the Whorehouses of Texas…the moustache persevered, never a gourgeous shiney hair out of place. A true example of the power of stache.

burt renyolds pornstache god

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George Clooney Pornstache

by admin on November 29, 2008

The fatigues, the hilter hair, the pornstache…there is a clear course of action here, “Don’t ask, don’t tell”

george clooney pornstache

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Orlando Bloom: Can Elves Grow Porstaches?

by admin on November 28, 2008

“Fuck your toe hair Frodo, check this out!”

Orlando bloom pornstache

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Certified Pornstache: More is Better

by admin on November 28, 2008

As gaggle is to goose, pride is to lion and hairgasm is to pornstache. These fellows call themselves “software developers” however we suspect it is just a cover to days spent on yachts in St. Tropez and nights spent in the discotheques of Prague. As evidenced here, the centuries old adage, “Pornstaches of a kind stick together”. 
hairgasm of pornstache 

 

 

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Jon Heder aka Napoleon Pornstache

by admin on November 28, 2008

When you ride a white-perm and Saturday Night Fever dance moves to international fame, what do you do next? Duh, Pornstache!

jon heder pornstache

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