November 2008

A good stache is hard to find and when you do you better grab on tight and hold on to that sucker for the whole ride, hence “The Handlebar” 

Structure:  Your mouth is beautiful and The Handlebar underscores that beauty like a three sided picture frame of hair.

Origin: Colonial Mustard, London 1623.

Practical Purpose: Gives universal license to invite people to, “Jump on for a moustache ride!”; stores leftovers from previous meals for intra-day snacking. 

Best Accessories: Leather chaps, cowboy hats, pantaloons (often all at once).

Often Spotted: In San Francisco gay bars, revolutionary war reenactments across the Eastern US and Hells Angels gatherings.

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Everybody loves cuddling a stache, and even better is a moustache with a stache and even better than that is a plushie and stache in one. Totally mind-blowingly awsome, I present…”Son of Mustachio“…behold the stachey, plushie perfection.

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We’d like to give a nod to some of the innovators of pornstache, those daring souls that blazed a hairy trail for the common man. Nobody deserves more credit than Burt Renyolds, god of stache.  Through backwoods adventures, redneck antics, speed demonry and the Whorehouses of Texas…the moustache persevered, never a gourgeous shiney hair out of place. A true example of the power of stache.

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For the very important pornstachio in your life, make sure grooming is always close at hand with a sterling silver moustache comb necklace

From Brandish

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The fatigues, the hilter hair, the pornstache…there is a clear course of action here, “Don’t ask, don’t tell”

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“Fuck your toe hair Frodo, check this out!”

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As gaggle is to goose, pride is to lion and hairgasm is to pornstache. These fellows call themselves “software developers” however we suspect it is just a cover to days spent on yachts in St. Tropez and nights spent in the discotheques of Prague. As evidenced here, the centuries old adage, “Pornstaches of a kind stick together”. 
 

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When you ride a white-perm and Saturday Night Fever dance moves to international fame, what do you do next? Duh, Pornstache!

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The next in our series of pornstache species, “The Pencil“ also sometimes referred to as the “Horizontal Landing Strip”

Structure:  The tiniest line of perfection, right across the top of the upper lip. 

Origin: A smokey cafe, Paris, 1821.

Practical Purpose: The intense amount of grooming required to maintain such a tiny little stache conveys the deep amount of dedication that you are willing to put into looking creepy and pretentious.

Best Accessories: Pencil leg jeans, cigarette holder, knit cap. 

Often Spotted: On John Waters, upcoming R&B stars and little boys with mom’s that think it’s cute to degrade their children with an eyeliner pencil. 

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