Tom Selleck’s moustache is widely praised for both its immense girth and its dazzling sheen. When Selleck walks into a room tiny points of light bounce of his ’stach and are cast throughout. Disco ball is to 70’s as Tom Selleck’s moustache is to 80’s.
However, few have noticed the real reason that Magnum’s moustache is so powerful…
Yes, his eyebrows…resting gently on his brow like two small, identical-twin, love-children of his moustache. The symmetry and impact of this effect has caused many faced with its power to weep. What Tom Selleck knows that you don’t is that facial hair is not just for the mouth.
Oh, moustache is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will grow to
This moustache in your eyes
Oh no, I’ve shaved too much
I trimmed it up…
Drawing on 2 facts that were established in the 70’s
1. Pornstaches increase speed
2. Pornstaches are the best accessory to a speedo
the Phelpster debuted a pornstache recently. Who is his PR person? Nothing say’s I’ve cleaned up my bong toting image more than a handlebar pornstache…
A good stache is hard to find and when you do you better grab on tight and hold on to that sucker for the whole ride, hence “The Handlebar”
Structure: Your mouth is beautiful and The Handlebar underscores that beauty like a three sided picture frame of hair.
Origin: Colonial Mustard, London 1623.
Practical Purpose: Gives universal license to invite people to, “Jump on for a moustache ride!”; stores leftovers from previous meals for intra-day snacking.
Best Accessories: Leather chaps, cowboy hats, pantaloons (often all at once).
Often Spotted: In San Francisco gay bars, revolutionary war reenactments across the Eastern US and Hells Angels gatherings.
Everybody loves cuddling a stache, and even better is a moustache with a stache and even better than that is a plushie and stache in one. Totally mind-blowingly awsome, I present…”Son of Mustachio“…behold the stachey, plushie perfection.
Tom Selleck’s moustache is widely praised for both its immense girth and its dazzling sheen. When Selleck walks into a room tiny points of light bounce of his ’stach and are cast throughout. Disco ball is to 70’s as Tom Selleck’s moustache is to 80’s.
